How to Break the Shackles of Shyness and Gain more Self-confidence…

I have seen many talents whirled away because of shyness. Shyness which could also be called social anxiety is a psychological issue which needs to be looked at in a more profound way, seeing what its root cause is.

Usually, it is linked with having a low self-esteem. Shyness may either be from birth or acquired through environmental factors. Research shows that about 20% of persons have the genetic tendency to be naturally shy. Other causes of shyness include life experiences, inferiority complex, overprotectiveness from parents, cold families where no one is allowed to express their opinion, exposure to a new public activity and having a low self-esteem.

To be able to overcome it, we need to understand the deeper reason behind it. It could be mild, moderate or extreme depending on the degree to which it has gotten to. Shyness is characterised by nervousness, cautiousness, breathlessness, speechlessness, uncomfortableness, timidity, and insecurities.

In which ways can we overcome shyness, social anxiety, or insecurity?

Here are some ways of breaking the shackles of shyness which I have seen working:

1.     Know what triggers your shyness

To break free from extreme shyness, it is all important to know what triggers. This will help you get a quick remediation.

2.     Build confidence by taking one step at a time

Take a decision on building your self-confidence and never relenting. You can start this by making a weekly routine of talking with five new people you haven’t spoken with before in your environment. In creating this habit, it will become easier every single time.

3.     Parents must try to know the psychology of the children and socialize with children from early ages.

Socializing your children from their early childhood stages makes them adjust properly and fit into the society. This will help express themselves confidently.

4.     Participate fully in small groups

To manage shyness, individuals are encouraged to work in small teams and gradually extend it to the bigger groups. Do your best in these small groups and you will see yourself doing exploit in the bigger spaces with time.

5.     Frequently engage in positive self-talks

Try hard to shut down imaginations which distorts your thinking by telling yourself positive statements: I am worthy, I am good at what I do. Becoming aware of your self-talk and turning it around into positive self-talk is one of the most powerful steps.

6.     Move with people who motivates you.

Apart from being intrinsically motivated, move along with people who see your brighter side and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

7.     Practice social skills like assertiveness

Learn to be firm with positive decisions you take. Being assertive makes you gradually overcome most social anxieties.

8.     Be first to pick up conversations with your colleagues

Another good way to break the shackles of shyness is to initiate conversations on issues you feel comfortable about. You can start this exercise with your immediate family, friends and then to the wider community.

9.     Dress to enhance your confidence

How you dress can enhance your confidence; dress neatly yet comfortably, radiating that ease and confidence will invite people to respect you naturally.

10.  Know your capabilities

Every human has a gift and talent which makes them unique. Identify and maximize yours.

11.  Be acquainted with more knowledge

Read and learn more to increase your knowledge. Knowledge is power and has the potency of boosting your self-esteem to overcome shyness.

12.   Make a list

Create a list of things that makes you anxious and seek advice on how to overcome them.

13.  Engage in playful activities like sports, games etc

All works and no play, makes you a dull person. A hobby will keep active with family and friends. This will help reduce your anxiety levels which triggers your shyness.

Most of all, know that you are not alone, many have experienced shyness and social anxiety and overcame it step by step. We are all born equal and worthy. Never allow anybody to make you feel like a nobody. Don’t entertain negative thinking and take distance from people who drain you and treat you disrespectfully.

Taking these steps will make you a strong and self-confident individual with a deep sense of self-worth and fulfilment.

Much love,

Barbara